Before we know it, it’ll be a full year since we went into quarantine due to COVID-19. Yup. Just like that, an entire year. For many of us, it feels like we’ve been frozen in time. The reality is that while it may have felt like time lost all meaning these past 10+ months, a lot has happened. In fact, so much has happened that it's hard to fathom things “going back to normal.” So many new norms have come as a result of how we’ve had to adapt to social distancing, loss of the ability to roam and go wherever we want - whenever we want, to how we work, how we dress, who we see, how we connect and how we generally live. One of the common threads weaving across all of those domains is our relationship with technology. If coronavirus was the lead actor in the story of 2020, technology has certainly been its co-star. And, as we continue to use technology to navigate our new world online, where do we draw the line? To live without technology in today’s world isn’t really practical or an option for most. So, what can we be doing to slow down the overdominance technology has taken on our lives? In the famous words of Congresswoman Maxine Waters, how can we “reclaim our time” and protect our mental space for living a balanced life offline?
We need to talk about our relationship.
Let’s face it: our relationship with technology was already concerning. If you have seen the Netflix documentary The Social Dilemma, you probably already learned that we are at a point in our lives where technology has become - and will remain - a major player in every realm of our existence. Did you know that the film was actually written and produced over three years before it’s release in 2020? In the amount of time that the movie was made until it aired, most of the data was already old and hadn’t accounted for any of the impact now being felt by the pandemic, or the rise of newer and massive platforms, or the integration/merging of others.
It’s a scapegoat to use the quarantine as the blame for how much technology has overtaken our lives. But, the quarantine has had a dramatic impact on how much we use technology, not only for work, but for...well, everything! Zoom is the new way of life and working from home - across hundreds of industries - is the new normal. Just lookup the hashtag #zoomlife and you’ll see a plethora of content from stories, shows to relationship advice all in the context of how much time we spend on the platform.
So, where is it going? Not technology - but our relationship with it? How much can we actually control?
Give me your attention.
We have to first understand what’s actually happening and that’s a fierce competition for our attention. As we saw from the film, we have an entire digital economy that has been built on mining and fighting for our attention. Unfortunately, it’s done nefariously by actually appealing to our limbic system, the fight-flight-freeze response (where we experience things like fear, outrage, and survival drives). What’s important to note here is that this part of our brain largely operates outside of the domain of our conscious awareness. Technology and social media is influencing us in a dimension that is hardwired for our basic survival! And, as it gets smarter and smarter at knowing us, it’s turning our mind (and attention) on itself. “We’re more addicted, distracted, outraged, divided, attention-seeking, disinformed, and polarized,” said Tristan Harris, one of the film’s creators.
What we also know from neuroscience is that the brain can hold about seven different things at any given time in the short-term (or working) memory. (This is why phone numbers are seven digits.) Technology today is overwhelming our short term memory, and our attention is so fragmented that it’s resulting in two big problems: choice paralysis (stuck in the freeze state) and addiction. Incessant distractions, like notification pings on our phones, result in information overload, which then leads to damage to another part of our brain - the reward system. This system is responsible for releasing dopamine, “the feel good” hormone.
Research shows that when we get notifications such as likes, new followers, and photo tags, small amounts of dopamine are released in the brain. Think about how many notifications you get in a day. Probably a lot! So, when this system becomes overwhelmed, (in this case, having too much dopamine) it can lead to addiction as our brains seek to create this positive feedback loop. Ever find yourself picking up your phone to look at the screen without hearing it ping or buzz just to see if you have a new notification? That’s your brain looking for that “fix.” Just like with substances, the brain’s hardwire can be hijacked by technology and also create a dependence. In fact, one of the standout messages from the film was that the only two industries that refer to their customers as users is drugs and tech.
Social media, news, and even dating apps can provoke a range of emotions in us from joy to rage, and exacerbate mental health issues like depression and anxiety. The pandemic has provided an added layer of complexity to these with social isolation and sudden loneliness. These negative emotions are competing with positive ones inside of us, but unfortunately, negative emotions tend to stay in the body longer (in our nervous system). This creates a toxic loop in the limbic system that manifests in our daily lives as an underlying current of low-grade unease and anxiety. In both the short and long term, this causes havoc on our overall health and wellbeing.
An unfair fight
It’s also important to keep in mind that while it’s easy to get down on ourselves and feel guilt or even shame about how much we use technology, it’s an unfair fight. It is a fight between you (and your unconscious mind) against thousands of engineers, data scientists, UX designers and millions of super computers whose algorithms are built to exploit this aspect of our human neurobiology. This is an asymmetrical balance of power and we need to be mindful that these are incredibly powerful forces vying for our fragile attention - and, as we already said - has only become more precarious during the quarantine.
Knowing thyself: Utility ← → Pacifying
One of the first things we want to consider for managing our relationship to technology is being aware of how much we need or use it for utility, and how much we rely on it to pacify and self-soothe.
One of the more fascinating things about technology is that it can be as helpful to us as it can be harmful. Shifting our awareness around when and why we use it is a better use of our time in considering our relationship to it, than trying to think of ways to “get rid of it.”
When you’re using technology for anything other than work, ask yourself: what do I want to get (or learn) from my time with technology right now and how will I know when I’ve attained it? How long will that take? Do I have what I need or have I fallen into a cyber hole? Can I get this in a reasonable amount of time and then close the screen or put the device down?
The number one thing we can do to change our reliance on and relationship with technology is raising our self-awareness. We want to increase our awareness of how we’re using technology, how it uses us, and knowing the difference in when we are the consumer, versus when we are being consumed.
The key question is around utility and pacification: What do I want from this right now? Is this helping me do something, or helping me to feel/not feel something?
Ways to better manage your use of technology:
Get organized offline. Organization is a result of routine + ritual. Start the day with meditation, mindful breathing, stretching or even just silence and let the screens wait.
Invest in an actual alarm clock so that the first thing you reach for in the morning isn’t your phone.
Use the Do Not Disturb feature on your device. Set time limits on the apps you use the most to reduce your screen time (the ones that are time-sucks, i.e. social media).
Turn off notifications of anything non-essential to your life.
Intentionally leave your phone on the other side of the room, or in another room, often, when you don’t need it - especially overnight.
Remove toxic apps. If it doesn’t make you feel good, you don’t need it.
Download helpful tools. Technology offers us enhanced utility. Develop a relationship with technology that helps you actually get things done like organization apps, and wellness apps that promote mindfulness and self-care.
Eliminate outrage from your feeds. Maybe deleting the app entirely isn’t viable. In this case, unfollow accounts or people that rob you of your joy.
Untether Your Soul. 1-day total disconnect. Think of this as a juice cleanse or fast for your mind. A full day feels like too much? Start small with blocks of time in a day and work up to a full day.
The bottom line
There are ways to improve our relationship with technology, even if it does play on our brain’s natural reward system. I encourage you to take proactive steps that include raising your awareness to how, why, and when you reach for your devices, and find ways to make technology work for you. Curate your feeds, take regularly scheduled time outs to disconnect, and see how you feel. Initially, you may experience feelings of anxiety or panic, that you need to check your devices. Rest assured, this is a normal response and will lessen over time. The more you practice these exercises, it will gradually become easier to “unlearn” your dependence on technology.
For more information on this topic, please visit the Center for Humane Technology www.humanetech.com.